[ f.r.e.e.d.o.m ]

Wow, I'm really stressed. I didn't think it was possible to be this nervous about it, but my Apparition test has been booked for tomorrow and I'm really worried that I'm going to splinch, or leave a fingernail behind or something else small but icky.

So, who has passed their test and has some advice to pass along? And, please, do not quote Mr. T.

( Private to Self )

Okay, get yourself together... Wow. Summer holidays... I can't believe I'm turning 17 in a couple of weeks. I should do something for it, right?

Private to Sasha Capper: Okay, I'll just beat the bush, because if I were in your position, that's what I would appreciate... So...

Sabina knows about you and Ernie. She just left the Common Room in an enraged storm.

Oh dear. Christopher's (my brother, for those of you who don't know) birthday is today and I hadn't even got him a present. What do you give to a ten-year-old kid other than sweets, anyway? It'll have to wait until I get home. It's so strange to think that he'll be at Hogwarts next year. I mean, Christopher. At Hogwarts. With me. So very, very strange and surreal.

Gosh. School's over in about two weeks. And NEWTs and OWLs started yesterday, didn't they?

Why does it seem like time flies by so quickly? Anyway, Mum's had the curse lifted. But she's being kept under supervision for the next month. I don't know why it takes so long, exactly. But if it's to be absolutely sure she's herself again, then I suppose I don't mind too much. Of course, I absolutely can't wait to see her as soon as I get out of here. And my birthday is in a month. I don't know if I'll have a party or not, but I am turning of age... So, I suppose I ought to celebrate it somehow... Meanwhile, it's in the middle of summer. So, I don't know...

What's everyone got down by way of summer plans, by the way?

It is sososososo weird to think of Papa Macmillan with anyone. Merlin, and CAPPER? I wonder if Harper knows. And if he doesn't, good grief, I don't want to be there when he finds out.

I think I've got this non-verbal stuff down now! I managed to successfully do a number of more complex spells non-verbally. I mean, obviously, you can't do everything non-verbally - but I have been practicising absolutely everyday, so I'm feeling quite chuffed with myself.

And the only other thing that is new with me is that the Aurors wrote to say they are going to try and get my mum off the Imperius curse as soon as possible. Of course, she'll have to go to St. Mungos for a while and be supervised and everything until they catch whoever did the Imperiusing - but it is a relief to know it'll be over soon - I hope.

I feel stupid. Why isn't any of this stuff getting into my head?

I need a break.

Yes, I am still bored... Still very, very bored. I've tried immersing myself in schoolwork - but it's not the same without studying with Ginny... I miss you! I even miss Vicky, I'm going that crazy for the lack of company in this blasted dormitory! I hope you get better soon... And by the way, Ginny, your understudy is absolutely the most irksome person on the planet, honestly!

( Private to Jack )

And finally, a message from the Queen Beatrix of Inappropriate Announcements, Conversations, Comments and Suggestions:
'Just wanted to let you all know that I won't be replying or making any updates for the time being. Professor Babbling thought it best to take my journal away from me whilst I'm still delirious and sick. Though he said I ought to be getting it back when I'm feeling 100% better.'

Blergh. I hope he decides to keep it even longer! And if this message attracts his attention to my existance on these journals, and he makes a horrid comment like he is so fonding of directing at me in classes, I WILL cry. I just know it. I WILL cry. It can't even be helped.

( Private )

Oh - good Godric! A bird just flew into the window! It was bloody frightening, and totally ruined my moment of reverie! And, ooh, looks like I don't have to do the "check if Vicky's breathing" routine. She's been escorted off the Hospital Wing, so there's absolutely NO ONE left it my dorm but me. Ergh. I hate being alone like this. It's so booorrriiinnggg.

( Private to the WELL Sixth Years who aren't Prefects )

Hmm. I can't seem to decide which of the The Weird Sisters are cuter. Myron Wagtail or Merton Graves? The latter is closer to my age, being the youngest of the lot, but then, Myron Wagtail is MYRON WAGTAIL. And yet, everyone says he's the cutest of the lot - just because he's the lead singer...

Maybe I should just pick out the guy on the bagpipes. No one likes him, so I shall.

In other news, I was due my weekly letter from the Aurors this morning - but never did get it. Mr. Shacklebolt? What's going on?

And there's that thing... No, not going to talk about it. Going to forget it entirely.

I'm so excited. I owled Mum's birthday present just this morning so she gets it in time. I hope she remembers and everything. I don't fully understand the details of her state. I mean, is she demented? Or amnesiac? How is being under Imperius affecting her? When are they going to get it off? I know it's crucial to their investigations and all - I just... I just wish it weren't my Mum, you know?

Just thought I'd throw this out there:
What is WRONG with Andrew Bloody Kirke? Honestly?!

Anger Management Class was so much fun on Wednesday - Are you sure we couldn't have another one, Mr. Shacklebolt? I think pretending to be completely ditzy, kinda like being Kitty, really, was one of the best parts. Especially as it seemed to nab the boys off so much. But, lordy - it was so weird to see Harper and Jack... Get along? Or at least, they didn't seem to want to smash each other's faces in... So... I don't know... It was just weird.

Marlowe is so cute right now. Hee. Someone put a sock on his head. I laughed so hard when I saw him that he clawed me all up my arm. Drew fixed me up with a simple Episkey; but Marlowe is ignoring me - but he's doing it in that obvious attention seeking way by sitting on my foot. I love him. Really, I do. And for the concerned souls, the sock has been removed from his head. It's just that Drew had to do it because I was laughing too much.

( Guess who still hates me? HE DOES! )

Now, has anyone seen my sunglasses? The frames are red and big... And, just - if you've seen them, let me know, yeah?

( Private to Mr. Shacklebolt )

Cad, I'll be needing you to fight off the suitors with a large stick once more... Uh huh. I'm single again.

Now I go back to worrying about the things that count, instead of why some stupid prat doesn't trust me enough or respect me enough - despite apparently really, really fancying me.

Should I celebrate? I mean, I got dumped, but I can celebrate, right?

( Private )

Unless your name is Ginny, Cad, Jack or Drew - leave me alone.

( Private to Summerby )

( Private to Devon )

( Private to Jack, Ginny, Drew, Cad, Luna )

... Hmmph.

Whoa!

I don't think I've heard Harper swear so loudly or so colourfully before!

It's actually kinda scary.

( Private to Luna )

( Private to Sixth Years )

Paris was really fun. And exciting. And so was that thing I must not name, except I'm all guilty about it now... Understandably.

But...

I've missed everyone. Well, not everyone. There are some people I'd rather not face. Like Harper. Whom I spotted near some ritzy hotel looking extremely hacked off before we checked out. Strange...

Anyway, enjoyed my holiday greatly. It's very clearly got "Carpe Diem" stamped all over it. Stop referring to it. Like, when - er... nevermind.

Ginny and I are at my dad's house, resting. Not because we are old maids who need to nap in the middle of the day, but because we completely exhausted ourselves by spending every night out. And there was a night on that - yes. Let's just say it was very enjoyable. The repercussion's mightn't be, though. Shit. Damn. ARGH!

So... er... How's everyone else been? Jack? Devon? Eeep. Devon. What am I going to do? Cad? Luna? Friends?

And Dorny Jez, I really am sorry about you and your boyfriend. I'm a horrible person. Let me go sulk in a corner.

Visiting Mum for an hour tomorrow. Supervised. My little brother's not taking it very well. Can't blame him, poor kid.

1. I am going to write twenty-three facts thoughts, being that this is my twenty-third entry.
2. Yes, the above was a thought, so it counts as the first.
3. Too bad the Quidditch match got cancelled. I'd already finished the majority of my homework in anticipation - so I spent the most of Saturday mostly bored.
4. Bored is not too bad a state to be in.
5. Really.
6. I'm not just trying to make it sound like being bored is fantastic state to be in, because I felt sorry for myself and wanted to put boredom on the pedastal of "cool" to make myself look less like a dork.
7. Honestly.
8. I'm not a dork.
9. And you know what else I'm not? Infatuated with Harper.
10. That's right.
11. There's really not much more to it.
12. I hate him, he hates me. It's a splendid relationship already.
13. Why would we want to go ruin it, now?
14. Besides, I'm not exactly in the position to be infatuated with anyone.
15. Other than Devon.
16. Who is really very nice. And shy. And listens very well. Because he's too shy to talk any.
17. Maybe people should take lessons on listening from him.
18. Jack, that would be you.
19. Because if I catch you copying my notes - it shall be Hell and Perdition.
20. Speaking of which, my Uncle has a lisp, and scolds me as such, "Demeltha Robinth, ith Hell and Perdithion for you!"
21. I never take him seriously. Theriouthly.
22. I've got one more thought left.
23. This entry was, in retrospect, rather pointless, ja?

I didn't, you know, lose my journal or anything. I just didn't feel like writing in it particularly. Or checking it. Or anything.

I suppose first thing's first.

1) I am dating Devon Summerby. You're not the only ones surprised, believe me.

2) I had that interview with the Aurors. Let's just say that things aren't good.

3) No, I do not want to talk about it - unless I approach you.

4) Quintus Harper is a moody prat. It's not my fault you had a detention. In fact, it was yours and yours alone.

5) Everything's been okayed to go to Paris. You got your permission slip, Ginny?

6) I can take Marlowe back now, Lav. Thanks so much for taking care of him! You've been amazing. I'm going to bring you back something from Paris because you're just that cool.

( Private to Ginny )

The thing about German, is that they like to shove a number of base words together in order to make one big massive word. So, they've got this word - "Vergangenheitsbewältigung" - which basically just means "coming to terms with and confronting the past." If we did that with English, however, I rather believe we'd meet chaos. The concept of vergangenheitsbewältigung is confronting though, if you think about it. I, for one, would much rather not have to think about some things in the past. It's just much easier to move on. Which totally explains why there isn't any awkwardness between Jack and I now - except for when I remember that I snogged him and go into awkward mode again. Maybe I do need to confront it. Or at least to believe you've moved on. More or less a principle of forget, as opposed to 'forgive and forget' or even 'harbour and dwell'. The "vergessen" (forgotten) principle is the one I ascribe to, at least, for those times when forgiving is out of the question and - well, everyone knows that harbouring and dwelling is just bad for the soul.

So - it looks like I have a meeting with the Aurors this evening after Quidditch practice... Fan-bloody-tastic.

( Private to Ginny )

( Private to Devon )

I GOT AN O IN MY ASTRONOMY ESSAY! AND AN O IN CHARMS! Hell yes!